BY MOLLY CONGDON
Dear Reese Witherspoon:
You are an Academy Award-winning actress, talented almost beyond compare. You’ve proven yourself time and time again to be a high-caliber performer. You stole our hearts with your Southern accent as Melanie Smooter in “Sweet Home Alabama.” Showed us in “Legally Blonde” that one shouldn’t judge others solely based on appearance; even a blond fashionista has drive, ambition and intellect. Showcased your talent as June Carter in “Walk the Line.”
It’s not just your performances that make you such a great role model in the entertainment field; you’re a trailblazer, clearing the way for the future success of women further down the road. It’s empowered so many to watch you branch out and start your own production company creating movies from books such as Cheryl Strayed’s “Wild.”
You’re beautiful, spunky and independent.
But then you decided to jump on the bandwagon and take one of the lead parts in “Hot Pursuit.”
I hope you don’t mind me asking: What exactly were you thinking?
Your character, Cooper — the hyper-focused, uptight cop never straying from the preset cop playbook — is adorable in her own way. You are good at what you do; there’s no denying that. However, the movie itself was really not at your level. You settled. The storyline was not even well thought out. It was rushed, predictable and unconvincing.
As Cooper, you try to protect the widow of a drug boss, Daniella Rive (Sofia Vergara), spiriting her throughout Texas to keep her alive so she can testify against the bad guy, while being pursued by a couple of crooked cops (the song “Ridin’ Dirty” just came to mind) and — of course — some men who are attempting to murder them along the way.
Since there was a serious lack of testosterone, in comes Randy (Robert Kazinsky). Witherspoon and Vergara steal his truck while on the run and he happens to be asleep in the truck bed and also happens to be breaking his parole, unintentionally. He’s more than just eye candy, he helps them with their mission … and also serves as a mini love interest.
So, Reese, what I’m trying to say is that you’re better than the cheap laughs of mediocre comedies, which will soon be completely forgotten by the masses.
Next time, just say no.
A movie-reviewing fan
“I loved it. My favorite part was when they were pretending to kiss and that guy shot his finger off.”
— Diana Balsamo
“I thought it was pretty good. I’d give it a C+. The outtakes at the end were funny.”
— Wayne Polondo